Guy Kawasaki Dishes It Out Again!!!

The Apple IT mogul is back to give us his advice on what not to say to an investor when you make that oh-so-important pitch that could result in either millions of dollars of funding or falling flat on your dumb ass for saying the wrong thing. Remember that “by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”

YOU SAY:
“I’m bright and ambitious.”
INVESTOR THINKS:
“That’s a relief, because I usually invest in stupid and lazy people. Why are you wasting my time?”

YOU SAY:
“I’m a blue-sky thinker.”
INVESTOR THINKS:
“You have no business model, and you don’ t know how to ship. Why are you wasting my time?”

YOU SAY:
“I don’t much about your firm, but I thought I’d contact you anyway.”
INVESTOR THINKS:
“You’re a lazy idiot-why are you wasting my time?”

YOU SAY:
“I have lots of great ideas, but I have trouble figuring out which one to try. Let me tell you about a couple.”
INVESTOR THINKS:
“I want to know which idea you’re going to kill yourself trying to make successful, not which ideas have crossed your idle mind. Why are you wasting my time?”

YOU SAY:
“I’ve always wanted to be an entrepreneur.”
INVESTOR THINKS:
“I’ve always wanted to be a professional golfer. So what if you always wanted to be an entrepreneur? Why are you wasting my time?”
YOU SAY:
“I’m sure you are aware of the growing need for security. Web 2.0, Open Source, whatever.”
INVESTOR THINKS:
“If you’re sure I’m aware, why are you telling me you’re sure I’m aware? Why are you wasting my time?”

YOU SAY:
“If you sign an NDA, I’ll tell you my idea.”
INVESTOR THINKS:
“How can you not know that venture capitalists don’t sign NDAs? Why are you wasting my time?”

YOU SAY:
“The last time I contacted you, I…”
INVESTOR THINKS:
“I’m going to fire my secretary for putting this clown on my calendar again. Why are you wasting my time?”

YOU SAY:
“My goal is to build a world-class company.”
INVESTOR THINKS
“How about you ship and sell the first copy before we talk about world-class anything? Why are you wasting my time?”

“This is what company my does…” is how you should begin. It’s that simple. The goal is to get investors thinking about the potential of your company and the size of your market. They can’t think about this if they don’t know what you do. And they don’t want to be your friend, mother, or psychiatrist until they understand what you do, so cut the crap and explain what you do.

SOURCE: "Reality Check: The Irreverent Guide to Outsmarting, Outmanaging, and Outmarketing Your Competition" ISBN:978-1-59184-223-1 Pages 37-38